Monday, July 14, 2008

What Not to Watch: Lull Story 2050

Hero sees the his lady chasing a butterfly in the park. He falls in love when the same butterfly lands on him. When he loses his love, the butterfly lands on the name of the town where his lady is and he finds her again. When he's lost her in 2050, the same Goddamn butterfly is still there to guide him. Butterfly flew from Sydney 2008 to Mumbai 2050 cause it knew that the sonofabitch still wouldn't have found the heroine. Now what do you say to that? One helluva intelligent undead butterfly.

Bow to the great scientist uncle of the hero. Now since every scientist in Hindi movies comes from NASA, this one does too. Even though his work is not even remotely connected to space exploration. But I guess that's not his fault. The bloody director grew up watching Hindi movies. Didn't have time to find out if there existed some other unexplored, located in the back-of-a-truck science lab. Uncle Ya, more like Uncle (wh)Y, left NASA fifteen years ago to invent time machine. Above all that, he makes Kundlis, and believes in re-birth. If that wasn't enough, he already knows everything about 2050. Even fixes a robot in 2050 using an HP laptop of 2008. I bet it was made in Haryana.

He enters as this rough tough guy who smashes his father's car just to get noticed. But you get a taste of things to come when he's playing with a butterfly in the next scene. Harman Baweja looks like the wax statue of Hrithik Roshan stolen from Madame Tussauds. And believe me, he's not one of their best works. Even Priyanka Chopra's pink Teddy Bear acts better than him. Although the whole film is like an advertisement of him, among other things, he's got the most cheesy and crappy dialogues I've ever heard. To give you an idea, lets just say that Aap Ka Surroor was actually a better movie. I bet Harry Baweja and the choreographer watched the Krazzy4 dance a little too many times, and then they forgot how to do it. Also, he's still showing he can do action while screaming for his lady love. Who tries to do a Matrix while crying? And who cries after a dance number?

The robot, Q.T. is a joke on itself. Let's just say that Sunny(the 'I, Robot' robot) is to QT what Hrithik is to Harman. It actually worse here. And yeah, it was created by Sun Microsystems as we are told very clearly. If that's what they are gonna make in the future, even a techno company founded by Jats could outrun them.

She's smokin' hot!!!! Though she doesn't act much either as Sana, the 2008 girl, or Zeisha, the 2050 girl, Priyanka Chopra does look hot. But she chases butterflies, names weird toys Wrinkledinks,kicks a pink teddy bear and writes a diary in both 2008 and 2050. That says it all. Above all that, the bastard Harry Baweja keeps you waiting for that "Thandi Thandi Kiss" we have been promised earlier in the movie. The kiss never comes. Screw you Baweja!!!

The Bawejas have their own Darth Vader too. Although you soon get the feeling that he wouldn't have been cast even in the Star Wars spoof. And although he has developed powers like teleportation, he's still waiting for the NASA dropout to present him with the time machine.

To put it in as few words as possible, the movie sucks, big time. This movie is a 3 hour long advertisement of,

1. Harman Baweja, who is the poor man's Hrithik, who can act though. Anyone who can dare to copy Hrithik that well gotta be a good actor.

2. Sun Microsystems, which is going down the drain, with robots worse than the Made In China crap you get on streets.

3. CEAT tyres, who apparently are still there to celebrate there 100th birthday by venturing into cars. And their car sucks by the way.

4. Lux, which have been duping people like Anuj Saxena for many years now, and apparently continue to dupe his children(if, any) in 2050.

5. Xbox 360. Yes its still Xbox 360 in 2050. That's the Microsoft development plan for you.

All in all, the movie is a crapload combination of advertisements designed as a sleep inducing test by some secretive pharma company which recruited the Bawejas. The result? The miracle drug works!!!!!!!!!!!! I still can't understand why they made it 3 hours long when you can easily fall asleep in 10 minutes. But seriously, the special effects are good. I mean, not only Bollywood good, some of them are even Hollywood good. But the thing is, you are already asleep when they come.I dread that fateful day when I somehow convinced myself to watch this shit. Maybe I am a bigger fool than my friends, you give me credit for.

P.S: Back at home Kaho Naa Pya Hai was on when I returned. Its still a 1000 times better than Crappy Advertisement, 2050.

7 Kryptonites:

anuj said...

i dont use lux!!! :X

The Witch King of Rohtak said...

dude you watch Gossip Girl! Hell you don't use Lux!

lakshmy said...

i watch gossip girl and i dont use lux. and nothing wrong with the show. its got great clothes. im sure anuj has an eye for fashion

Nishant said...

Love story 2050 :|
You actually WENT to a movie hall, shelled out a coupla hundred bucks, and saw LOVE STORY 2050 :|

The Witch King of Rohtak said...

What 100 bucks.....wasn't coming to Delhi to watch that crap, was I? Watched here, in Rohtak.
But watched Jaane Tu today in Delhi. Its an awesome movie man!

The Witch King of Rohtak said...

Anuj has an eye for fashion? dude, anuj has an two bulging eyes for the girls. I'm sure he cares nothing for the clothes, except maybe caring for them to dissapear

bitethebullet said...

please check my comment at's post - 'shaken' and reply. And please don't take that personally.