Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Gunda Raj!!

Nopes, its got nothing to do with what I do in Haryana. That's not Gunda Raj, thats just Jat Raj, whose sole aim is to kick ass of every Punjabi ever born.
This one is about a totally different thing, something which, although could be done in only Haryanvi cinema, but somehow Bollywood managed to do it.
You got it right morons, I'm talkin about the 1998 classic, Gunda!!! Damn, that movie is famous! A coupla days ago NDTV did 15 minutes on the movie! And guess what, its got a 8.4 rating on imdb. There's a fan site, an apparel line, a city in the republic of Buryatia called Gunda, an aussie band called Gunda Guys, and the best one, Gunda Pickle!!

So this one is my interpretation of how the director of the cult classic interpreted the characters in the movie and sought to introduce the everchanging face of India in the 90s in them. (My extraordinary mind used the thesaurus for the last line). And forgive me for comparing them to you guys.

Bulla: His motto is, "Mera naam hai Bulla, rakhta hoon main khullaaaa." While the literalists may interpret this as a declaration that he doesn't wear underwears, the most 'open' minded viewers would agree that Bulla infact represents an 'open' - economy.
BITSian who deserves it all- Sridhar Poojyam! ( I forgot the surname)

Chutiya: Bulla's hermaphrodite brother, who is kept alive through a steady supply of 'London se sex ki goliyan' in hopes that he may one day become a 'mard' represents nothin but the eunuchs, what else.
BITS who deserves the role- Siddharth Sigtia! (Forgive me dude)

Pote: Jo apne baap ke bhi nahin hote, represents those who are illegitimate. Saale kisi bhi baap ke hote to aisi dialogue thode na bolte, "Hum aise lashein bichha denge jaise nanhe munhe bacche ki nunhi se peshaab tapakta hai....tap, tap."

Ibu Hatela: His motto, "Mera naam hai Ibu Hatela, Ma meri chudail ki beti, baap mera shaitan ka chela, khaega kela?". He represents the greedy industrialists who want you to suck on their bananas all day.

Shankar: Played by the Tsar of the Gunda Land, Mithun Chakraborty, he is a coolie who works at the airport. He also has an overweight girlfriend, an even fatter sister and a pet monkey who drives a car. His sister is believed to have lowered her BMI when Lambu Atta stretched her to the limits. Or was it Bulla's sister? Who said, "Munni meri behen munni, to tu mar gayi? Lambu ne tujhe lamba kar diya? Maachis ki teeli ko khamba kar diya?"
BITSian who deserves the role- I'm inclined to say Nishant, but I'll go with Nikunj.

Lambu Atta: Jisne achhe achhon ko lamba kiya hai, is a little short of height himself. I just found this dialogue of his on the net, " Bulla! mere ko mat maar. Mere ko aapna bhadwa bana de. Main ladkiyan supply karte rahoonga aur tu maaze lete rahena. Tere ko AIDS se bachane ke liye nirodh ban jayoonga. Towel baanke tere kamad se lapak jayoonga. Mere ko mat maar. Aur agar maarna hi hain to mujhe cheel-chaal ke chakka bana de. Main sari lapet kar tere liye dance karoonga…"
BITSian who deserves the role- Anuj (Sax)ena! (No one can contest that one!!)

4 Kryptonites:

executioner said...

mithunda is KVLT. period.

anuj said...


nj said...

(this one's the best EVER !!!)

Nikita said...


aaeyy laaiike..aaey laaiike :P